my god! i am just falling fucking apart

i sound like my granny

what is the world coming to?

i will never see it the same again

just as I was questioning the magic

what to my wandering eyes did appear?

i don’t have NAION

i have birdshot

little lesions in my eyes

the sense of five brooding bouncing loud black clouds  

spots splat surrounded by light

in the alarming cloudseeded sky

i spy with my little eye

something that is …

i see very little through my right eye but

there is one hole in the middle of bird splat through which i can see

my optic nerve is swollen

my cataracts sound like things in Egypt

my body is attacking itself

i can not hear through my left ear

i have exostosis

bony growths in my ear canal from swimming in Seymour River as a kid

during wax removal, my ear was damaged

the ear drum went pop   pop   pop

then no thing

the opthamologist says “you need to take prednisone

an immune suppressant”

oh no the one that fattened Flo

i march out of I care clinic on my high horse

“i don’t take drugs” i say

“look it up” he says

if i don’t take the miracle drug

i could go blind

so i take it

and now i shake

electricity coarses through my veins

i can’t sleep   i’m hungry   and moody

the neurologist shoots botox in my skull

for my trigeminal neuralgia & fibromyalgia

i have cancelled my bucket list trip to India

so this is 66

clickety-click!